14,864 words later...

I have the start of something but I am 35,136 words short of "winning" NaNoWriMo.

I did not hit the coveted 50K. Is it that important to "win" or is it really about just doing it?

I believe that it was important to me to do the exercise because it taught me something about myself as a writer. The discipline of sitting down to write was more important than what I wrote. Like any spiritual undertaking - which in my opinion writing can be - sometimes one must just "sit" with it.

And now I have the start of something I never expected - a vampire story.

Those times I woke up in the middle of the night (thank you jet lag) and just started writing the stuff that was in my head led me to Tedward and Vivienne in places I never imagined nor had any interest in going.

The characters I had every intention of writing about, the Amargosa Sisters, resolutely refused to budge. They were pouting in a corner, not ready to step forward. But crazy Tedward came rushing out telling me all sorts of things about his vida loca here in HellAy.

So on one hand, at least numerically, this has been a ride on the fail whale. But on the other hand, it's been a successful meditation, just me in a chair, and more recently standing at my fake treadmill desk, writing.

NaNoWriMovember starts tomorrow -- will I be ready?

This has been a tough few days. We have worked all weekend. We are emotionally drained.

I can't really say much here but suffice it to say there's been a situation that I've been having to deal with at work and on top of our regular 12 hour day, there's suddenly a whole lot of other stuff to handle as well.

GAH!

I am committed to my goal, but what's happening here may well weave itself in a highly fictionalized form into my story.

I wish I had more time to be reflective, to ponder life's mysteries, to really think about things and acknowledge the holidays of Halloween and All Souls tomorrow.

I made some soup here in the office, hoping to nurture and comfort anyone who needs it. Cooking seems to set things right, if just for the small moment of chopping and heating and listening to the simmering broth.

Uh Oh! NaNoWriMo

Call me crazy, but I'm doing it.

There, I've said it so I **REALLY** have to do it now.

I'd planned to do this in September but then I went on holiday (Hello Europa) and then suddenly work fell into my lap (A BIG thank you CGW and the Universe...) and now I find myself yawning at 2:50 AM on a Friday after wrap and wondering WTF and am I nuts??

But yes, I guess I am. Nuts.

Because I am attempting to write a whole bunch of words and eventually create a hypertext web novella. In 30 days. With Scrivener.

Enough of my procrastination!

The story that I began writing 3 years ago and have kept going back to, the story inspired by a collaborative writing project a friend invited me to join, with characters inspired from a photograph by Jane Evelyn Atwood is what I am writing.

So even though I will still be shooting when NaNoWriMo starts on November 1st -- I'm gonna do it. The plan is to devote more time after we wrap and when I get back home on the 20th, so that in that last 10 days I write like a champion.

It'll be an exercise in self discipline. Like getting up for amrit vela, or the "ambrosial period". Early morning for me has traditionally been when my inspiration is at it's best because my mind is always at it's most open, empty and creative in the very early morning or upon first awakening.

Wish me luck!